I Don't Want To Believe

Sometimes it feels so hard to believe.

Sometimes it take a lot of effort to believe all God promises us in His Word: that He exists, that He is in control, that He has forgiven all of my sins, that He has fully reconciled us to Him, one day: a whoe new creation!

I feel the push and pull of our culture not to believe, or to become apathetic about God, Jesus and the incredible claims of the Gospel.

And I feel uneasy about this. To be honest, I feel guilty about this. Not guilty because I am a pastor (a "professional Christian") but guity because I am supposed to be a Bible-believing Christian. I am called to be a person of strong faith.

And then I look at the Bible and find lots of examples of "heroes of that faith" who found it difficult to believe: Abraham, Gideon, Peter, Paul, etc.

And then I also realize that I am hard-wired not to be believe. There is something in my DNA, there seems to be something programmed inside of me to not believe what God has said. This has happened because from the very beginning humans decided not to believe what God had said (Genesis 3:1-7). And this pattern has continued throughout human history.

So, it makes sense that Jesus talk us that we need to be "born again," or better translated: "born from above" (John 3:3; see also John 1:13; 1 Peter 1:3,23).

Something "new," something "from above" (from heaven!) has to happen to my heart to help me believe. Because of my human condition I need help, a lot of help to believe!

And so I echo the words of a father who, in the midst of very trying circumstances, said to Jesus: “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24).

Yes, Lord: I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief!